Double Negative with Chuck Dynasty and Rushmore

JamesThurber once said, "Discussion in America means dissent."
Voltaire once said, "It is dangerous to be right in matters on which theestablished authorities are wrong."
And Howard Zinn once said, "Dissent is the highest form ofpatriotism."

Here at TheFilm Thugs we are not just firm believers in these principles. We are notcontent to stand behind these rights, no... we see these rights as aresponsibility, and these quotes as a challenge.

So, in thespirit of revolutionaries like Voltaire, Jefferson, Thurber, and Roosevelt wepresent to you...

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Every nowand again writer-directors come bursting onto the cinematic scene fully formed.Their vision is so clear and their style so complete that they speed past theother players in the game like a rocket on roller-skates. Wes Anderson is hisgeneration’s rocket and Rushmore begs the viewer to strap on and ridethis rocket to completion.

At thecenter of the Universe, on the planet Eternia, Bill Murray's army seizes CastleGrayskull. By the next moonrise, Bill Murray plans on stealing the nowkidnapped sorceress Rosemary’s powers making him the most powerful Bill Murrayin the universe. The siege and investiture of Castle Grayskull has left itsprotector’s beaten and disillusioned with their life choices.

Only one mancan save Castle Grayskull now – the mighty warrior Rushmore! Master weaponsmith and master Scotsman, Magnus and his daughter 40 Ounce rescue Guggenheimfrom Bill Murray's forces. Guggenhiem, a magical locksmith, reveals that BillMurray has stolen his "Cosmic Key" that can open a portal to anywherein the state of California.Bill Murray's second-in-command, Seymour Cassel, copied the device to aid inthe sacking of Castle Grayskull but it proved to be useless.

WithGuggenheim's remaining Cosmic Key now safe, Rushmore and his friends travel to Burbank for lunch beforereturning to Eternia and Castle Grayskull. They attempt to free Rosemary butare no match for Bill Murray's army and are forced to flee through Guggenheim'shastily opened portal, transporting them to Costa Mesa. The Key is misplaced on theirarrival and discovered by two teenage lovers, Brian Cox and Jerry Sizemore, whoattempt to figure out what it is and accidentally send off a signal that allowsSeymour Cassel to track the key and send his henchmen, Future-man, DirkCalloway, and Mr. LittleJeans to recover it.

Brian Cox,an aspiring musician, mistakes the Key for a synthesizer and takes it to amusic store run by his friend Charlie. Mr. LittleJeans' team arrives and chasesBrian Cox until Rushmore rescues him. Mr. LittleJeans’ team returns toGrayskull where, incensed by their failure, Bill Murray kills Future-man andsends the others back to Earth, with a larger force under Seymour Cassel'scommand. Unable to find Jerry Sizemore, Brian Cox is taken to Jerry Sizemore'shouse by Adrian Vandenberg, a detective investigating the disturbance createdby Mr. LittleJean's team. Suspecting the Key is stolen, Adrian Vandenbergconfiscates it from Brian Cox and leaves. Immediately afterward, Seymour Casselcaptures and interrogates Brian Cox for the Key's location with a mind controlcollar and the flowy, yet still kind of sexy, summer dress of uncomfortablestares, before pursuing Adrian Vandenberg.

JerrySizemore and the Eternians release the kind of sexy Brian Cox from the collarbefore they go after Adrian Vandenberg. They manage to get hold of it inCharlie's store, but Bill Murray's forces catch up with them, and a pitcheddance number ensues. Seymour Cassel recovers the key and summons Bill Murray toEarth. Bill Murray's forces overwhelm the Eternians and Jerry Sizemore ismortally wounded by Bill Murray's lightning blast, simultaneously erasing thememory storage of Guggenhiem's Key. Rushmore surrenders to save his comrades,and is returned to Eternia as Bill Murray's slave. Bill Murray demands thatRushmore kneel before him for all of Eternia to witness, before he is killed.Rushmore refuses and is whipped by Dirk Calloway's laser whip in an attempt tomake him kneel. Rushmore has enjoyed himself too much and is still standingwhen the moon rises. Bill Murray absorbs the powers of the universe. Declaringhimself Bill Fucking Murray, Master of the Universe! Bill Murray asserts hisvictory and continues to torture Rushmore with energy blasts and modern countrymusic.

Back onEarth, Guggenheim repairs the Cosmic Key, and Brian Cox recreates the tonesnecessary to create a gateway to Eternia. The group, including AdrianVandenberg who attempts to arrest them, are transported to Castle Grayskull,where they begin battling Bill Murray's forces. Resenting that Bill Murray hasabsorbed the power of the Universe without sharing it with him, Seymour Casseldeserts him along with the other henchmen. Seymour is deeply pained by Bill FuckingMurray’s selfishness. Seymourhad been younger than Bill when they met at junior college, sure, but Bill hadalways shared his bed and his dreams with him. After all, had it not beenSeymour Cassel that had work to support them both while Bill studied for hisMasters in Universe Mastery? They didn’t have two pennies to rub together backin those days, but what they lacked in riches they made up with love. Sharing ahot bowl of mac and cheese and a blanket was all of the universe that they hadneeded back then. Conquering the universe had changed the man that SeymourCassel had loved. He knew Bill Murray but this Bill Fucking Murray was astranger to him. “Chin up, Seymour!” Seymour Cassel thought himself as hewalked away from the shadow of Castle Grayskull. His mother had been rightabout Bill the whole time.

Bill Murrayaccidentally frees Rushmore who then reclaims the Sword of Grayskull. The pair battleuntil Rushmore shatters Bill Murray's staff, removing his new powers andrestoring him to his normal state. Rushmore offers mercy but Bill Murray drawsa concealed sword and attempts to kill Rushmore; Rushmore manages to knock BillMurray from the throne room into a towering pit below. The freed SorceressRosemary heals Jerry Sizemore, and a portal is opened to send the Earthlingshome. Greeted as a hero for his bravery, Adrian Vandenberg decides to remain onEternia.

JerrySizemore awakens on the morning of his parents' deaths in a plane crash. Heprevents them from taking the ill-fated flight by taking their keys and runsoutside to find Brian Cox, who confirms that their experiences were real,producing a souvenir from Eternia: a small blue sphere containing a scene ofRushmore in front of Castle Grayskull with his sword raised above his head. Ina post-credits scene, Bill Murray's head emerges from the water at the bottomof the pit, saying "Mondays!"

Wes Andersonwent on the direct 7 more films before he left Hollywood to join his cousin Angry Andersonin Rose Tattoo on rhythm guitar. His other films didn’t amount to much butRushmore remains a haunting cautionary tale and classic example of documentaryfilm making.   

 



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